Tell us about the phrase “best interests of the children” and its relevance in separation and divorce

The best interests of the children standard is a guiding principle in family law, particularly in parenting and divorce cases.  By focusing on these aspects, parents and courts can make decisions that truly prioritize the well-being and interests of the children involved, supporting the child’s emotional, physical, and psychological well-being.

The key aspects of this concept are some of the following:

• Emotional stability – as in prioritizing the child’s emotional well-being and ensuring a stable, nurturing environment
  • Parental involvement – encouraging relationships with both parents, as positive involvement from both can support healthy development
  • Continuity – maintaining consistency in the child’s routine, including schooling, friendships, and extra-curricular activities
  • Safety – protecting the child from any physical or emotional harm, considering issues such as domestic violence or substance abuse
  • Child’s preferences – depending on their age and maturity, considering the child’s wishes regarding living arrangements
  • Health and welfare – addressing any physical, mental, or emotional health needs in parenting arrangements
  • Cultural and religious considerations – respect and consider the family’s cultural, religious, or ethnic background in arrangements
  • Financial stability – ensuring that the child’s basic needs are met, including housing, food, education, and healthcare
  • Future relationships – considering how parenting arrangements might impact future relationships including siblings and extended family

How can parents prioritize the best interests of the children in a divorce?

Prioritizing the best interests of children during a divorce requires careful consideration and intentional actions.

The goal is to provide a loving, stable environment where children can thrive despite the challenges of their changing family dynamics. Remember, putting your children first is not only beneficial for them but can also promote healthier relationships and co-parenting arrangements in the long run.

Here are several effective strategies to ensure that kids remain the focus of this significant life change:

1. Open Communication – Encourage honest discussions with your children about their feelings and concerns. Help them express what they’re experiencing, and reassure them that their emotions are valid. Keeping communication lines open fosters a supportive atmosphere.
2. Cooperative Co-Parenting – Work together with your ex-partner to create a cooperative co-parenting plan. This includes clear schedules for visits, holidays, and activities to provide stability and predictability for the children.
3. Maintain Routines – Keep children’s daily routines as consistent as possible, including school, extracurricular activities, and mealtimes. Stability in their routine helps minimize anxiety and provides comfort during a time of change.
4. Create a Safe Environment – Ensure a safe and secure home environment for children. Discuss any concerns related to domestic issues, and make sure the children feel safe in both parents’ homes.
5. Child-Centric Decision Making – Involve your children in age-appropriate discussions about decisions affecting them, such as where they will live or their schooling. Their preferences should be considered to help them feel respected and valued.
6. Avoid Conflicts in Front of Children – Parents should avoid discussing divorce-related disputes in front of the children. This reduces their stress and helps maintain a sense of normalcy.
7. Provide Emotional Support – Be attentive to signs of emotional distress. Reassure children of your love and support, and consider professional help, such as counseling, if needed. This can help them develop coping strategies.
8. Focus on Financial Stability – Ensure that financial arrangements provide for the children’s needs, covering essentials like education, healthcare, and daily living expenses. This stability is crucial for their well-being.
9. Keep an Eye on Future Relationships – Be mindful of how new relationships and changes impact the children. Introduce them slowly to new partners, and allow children to adjust at their pace.

How does the legislation address the Best Interests of the Children?

The NEW Divorce Act has a list of the factors to consider when the court looks at the best interests of the children.  It’s some of what we’ve looked at already, but here’s the list.

There’s a long list with starts with the #1 priority – safety, security and well-being of the child above all other considerations.

The rest of the list of 11 items is in no particular order of priority:

1. Child’s needs, given the child’s age and stage of development – This deals with individualizing children’s issues – things like temperament, physical and psychological needs, or even disabilities. 
2. Nature and strength of the child’s relationship with each spouse, siblings, grandparents, other important persons – It recognizes the stability that these extended relationships can have for children during their transition into two homes
3. Each parent’s willingness to support the development & maintenance of the child’s relationship with the other parent – Aka the “friendly parent rule”
4. History of care of the child – Courts will look at the roles that each parent played before the separation occurred, and their knowledge & ability to cope with things like daily routines & health-issues
5. Child’s views & preferences – This will depend on a child’s age and maturity
6. Child’s cultural, linguistic, religious, and spiritual upbringing & heritage, incl Indigenous upbringing and heritage – Court will look at the willingness of a parent to maintain & promote a link to these things.
7. Plans for a child’s care – The courts will consider any parenting plan developed by the parents or proposed by one parent.
8. Ability & willingness of a parent to meet the needs of a child – It focuses on whether a parent is unwilling or unable to handle the health, safety or well-being of a child, and assesses strengths and limitations of a parent.
9. Ability & willingness for co-parents to communicate & co-operate – Shielding children from their parents’ conflict is a focus of this new legislation.
10. Family violence
11. Other relevant criminal or civil proceedings