Interviews
- De-Escalate Communication – BIFF Responses
- Dealing With Your Buttons Being Pushed
- How to Have Difficult Conversations
- Demo of Our Family Wizard Co-Parenting App
- Supporting Children’s Education During Divorce
- What is a Divorce Narrative
- Helping Children Build Resilience
- Managing Pet Disputes
Book Club
- The Stepfamily Handbook
- New Ways for Life – Instructor’s Guide
- Parent’s Guide to Birdnesting
- Mom’s House Dad’s House
- Mom’s House Dad’s House for Kids
- Children’s Books
De-Escalate Communication – BIFF Responses
Bill Eddy
Bill Eddy sits down with Stephanie Dobson to talk about his famous method for helping families to de-escalate conflict by more effectively communicating using “BIFF Responses” and avoiding the “Three A’s”. Check out the interview for more details!
Dealing With Your Buttons Being Pushed
Brian Galbraith
Brian Galbraith joins Stephanie Dobson to help us to better understand the “amygdala hijack” that causes our communication to go from effective to completely escalated in .5 seconds flat! Tune in to get ideas about how to stop that hijack, and how a business-like relationship can be key to effective co-parenting.
How to Have Difficult Conversations
Jacinta Gallant
Jacinta Gallant sits down with Stephanie Dobson to bring perspective to those “difficult conversations” that separating spouses need to have. How can one prepare for these conversations? What are some common obstacles that get in the way of reaching an agreement? Why is it important to dig deep to seek resolution in a way that meets each former spouse’s “interests” – what is an interest anyway? We talk about how to dig deep and why going to those “pain points” is so critical to achieving lasting resolution, putting the past in the past, and being able to move forward as effective co-parents.
Demo of Our Family Wizard Co-Parenting App
Rachael Howitz
Rachael Howitz from Our Family Wizard joins Stephanie Dobson to give us an inside look at the features of this top-notch co-parenting app. This app helps parents with high or low conflict levels communicate effectively. She demo’s the shared calendar, messaging, journaling, info bank, expense log, and more.
What is a Divorce Narrative
Nanci Smith
What is a divorce narrative? Nanci Smith joins Stephanie Dobson to explain what this is and why it can be helpful for families to create such a narrative, when they want to be conscious about creating a positive and healthy future for the sake of their two-home family. Separating and divorcing families with children or without, and those engaged in an amicable cooperative process or even heated divorce court can benefit from creating and sticking to this narrative. Check out the full interview!
The Stepfamily Handbook
Karen Bonnell
Author Karen Bonnell sits down with Stephanie Dobson and Amrit Malhotra to discuss this essential read for any parent who is considering dating after separation or divorce. This book isn’t just for those who are at the stage of introducing children to their new partner – it’s for all stages of the relationship – from dating to integrating children, moving in together, re-marriage, new baby, grey divorce where children are adults, and even how to handle a subsequent stepfamily divorce if that should occur. Get an inside look at the author’s perspective on what inspired her to co-author the book, to how she arrived at the final topics, and even find out her favourite part of the book. Enjoy!
Parent’s Guide to Birdnesting
Dr. Ann Buscho
Author Ann Buscho joins Stephanie Dobson and Amrit Malhotra to talk about her book The Parent’s Guide to Birdnesting. It’s the only book of its kind out there, and Ann gives us an inside look at this option for parents who want to maintain their children in one home while they fly in and out of the “nest”. Tune in for more!
Mom’s House Dad’s House
by Isolina Ricci
Stephanie Dobson sits down with Amrit Malhotra to discuss this book. It is an encyclopedia of sorts for families who are transitioning into two homes, helping to go through all the stages of your transition, and bringing a positive light to how to create healthy, resilient homes after separation or divorce.
FAQ
Discover the most common questions we hear about the separation or divorce journey and our Mediation or Collaborative Divorce process.
Divorce FAQs
What’s the difference between a Separation Agreement and a Divorce?
A Separation Agreement is a document which contains the agreements relating to your separation or divorce. It contains things like custody, parenting scheduling, communication, child support, spousal support, property division, and other issues relating to your separation. The divorce will be documents submitted to the Court which will cause you and your former spouse to be legally no longer spouses. The divorce documentation will typically have to advise the Court as to your parenting arrangements. It may simply reflect the terms of your Separation Agreement or it may be in lieu of a Separation Agreement. Talk to your lawyer about which document may be most appropriate for your situation.
Do I have to wait a year after separation before starting my divorce?
Most people use “one year separation” as a way to establish the breakdown of their marriage to be eligible for a divorce. To finalize your divorce most often you will need to establish that you have been separated for one year. However, the negotiations surrounding the issues of your divorce can be started anytime. Typically the sooner you start the negotiations the more likely you will be completed and ready to finalize your divorce at the one-year mark.
How do we calculate child support?
Child support is calculated using the Child Support Guidelines. In essence, we take the income of the paying parent, the province of residence of the paying parent, and the number of children, and apply the formulas to calculate child support. Go to the Child Support Calculator to figure out your child support. There are additional considerations if you have a shared (50/50 or 60/40) or split (one or more child at each home) parenting arrangement or if children are over the age of majority.
(Lloydminster AB/SK question) If I live on one side of the border, does it matter if I move to the other side of the border after separation?
In order to apply for a divorce, either you or your spouse has to be resident in a province for one year. If you move to the other side of the border and subsequently want a divorce, you either have to wait for you to have been resident there for one year or your former spouse has to have been residing in their province of residence for a year.
How much will a divorce cost?
The divorce paperwork itself is typically a flat fee. However, the negotiations to determine the terms of the separation are typically the expensive and lengthy part of any divorce. We operate on an hourly rate basis. We can provide more information at your consultation once we have a better idea of your particular situation.
When can I change my name back to my maiden name after separation?
You can change to your maiden name at anytime – whether during your relationship, during your separation, or after your divorce. Your legal name will always remain as your name on your birth certificate and you are entitled to use that name at anytime.
Can I make my spouse change their name back to their maiden name after separation?
No you cannot. You are permitted to use your married surname while you are married as well as when you are separated or divorced.
Most extended health and dental insurance plans allow you to leave your spouse on your benefits so long as you are legally married. You will have to consult your plan administrator to determine what is permitted.
Most extended health and dental insurance plans allow you to leave your spouse on your benefits so long as you are legally married. You will have to consult your plan administrator to determine what is permitted.
What documentation do I need to provide during my divorce process?
When you work with us, we provide you with a checklist specifying the documentation that you need to provide. We work with you to customize the date range, and we will help you to gather all of the documentation.
My divorce is simple – no kids, no property to divide, and no spousal support payable – how long will it take to process?
Before we can advise on how long it will take to process the divorce, we will need to assess your particular situation. The actual paperwork itself typically takes 6-8 weeks from the date we submit the paperwork until the date that the divorce is issued. However, the negotiations to determine the terms of the divorce can take a few months or longer. We recommend that you start these negotiations as soon as possible so that you are not delayed in submitting the divorce at the one-year mark.
Mediation FAQs
What if I don’t trust the other party?
Trust between the parties is not required for the Family Mediation process to work. Rather than trust, it is more important that both parties are willing to come to the table to openly discuss all of the issues for resolution and to provide all of the information on which the parties will rely to make their decisions. If it is a matter of specifically distrusting the other party, there are ways to ensure that the information you are receiving in the Process is accurate and complete and that the agreements that you make are going to be followed by both parties into the future.
What if we don’t reach agreement in Mediation?
There are times where the Process breaks down. Sometimes, parties have come to Family Mediation after being in a litigation process. If Family Mediation ends without reaching full agreement on all issues, the parties simply return to their lawyers to reconvene the court process. Or, if litigation was not already started then lawyers may need to be hired at this point. As far as what to do with the agreements reached during Family Mediation, The parties have 2 choices: (1) to enter into agreement regarding the terms that continue to be agreeable by both parties, and the remaining issues can be dealt with by the Court, or (2) to abandon all discussions had and agreements reached during the Process and start afresh in a Court system. The initial consultation is extremely important in order to ascertain whether a Family Mediation is appropriate for your family. Your Family Mediator should learn about your situation and ensure that you understand the Process, then assist you to determine your suitability for the Process. This step helps to prevent you from entering into a Process that will not work for you, and may ultimately lead to impasse.
What if we have resolution on some things and don’t want to negotiate those things in Mediation?
What if we have resolution on some things and don’t want to negotiate those things in Mediation?
What if the other party will not agree to Mediation?
You have an opportunity to negotiate, and a right to litigate. T his means that you can only do Mediation if both parties agree to enter into the Process. If the one party won’t agree, then you still have a right to resolution, but it will likely be in the litigation environment. The sooner that both parties learn about the various process options available for divorce, the better. Sometimes, parties will enter into the litigation ring without understanding that there are options such as Mediation. Even if the other party has chosen a litigation process, you can still talk to them (directly or through your lawyer) and provide them with information about Mediation; it can’t hurt. However, if the other party is not agreeable to at least a 10-minute phone call with Stephanie to learn more, then it is not possible to enter Mediation.
What if the other party already has a lawyer – can we still use Mediation?
Yes, even if one or both of you have already retained lawyers, Mediation can still be used. You may invite your lawyers to attend each session with you, or you can request that your lawyer stays in the background while the mediation is proceeding. If one or both parties don’t have a lawyer yet, you don’t need to retain a lawyer prior to the mediation being conducted. Many parties choose to keep the meetings as 3-way meetings including the parties and the mediator alone and simply to discuss the final result with their lawyer at the end.
Collaborative Divorce FAQs
How is Collaborative Divorce different from the Court model?
Collaborative Divorce is client-directed and provides an open line of communication between the parties to assist to resolve all issues quickly and efficiently through 4-way meetings. In comparison, the litigation process can be lawyer-directed and most often all communication is channeled through the lawyers.
What if the other party won’t hire a Collaborative Divorce lawyer?
A Collaborative Divorce is only possible if both parties agree to use Collaborative Divorce lawyers and agree to this process. The sooner that both parties learn about the various process options available for divorce, the better. Sometimes, parties will enter into the litigation ring without understanding that there are options such as Collaborative Divorce or even Mediation. If the other party is not agreeable to retaining a Collaborative Divorce lawyer, then you cannot use the Process. In these instances, there are options to use a modified process which still can achieve similar outcomes.
General FAQs
How do I know if I should use Collaborative Divorce or Mediation?
Parties who choose Collaborative Divorce usually want to have lawyer involvement in their process as they negotiate with the other party. The lawyer’s role in the Process is to be an advocate for their client, to ensure that their client’s interests are being met and that their voice is being heard. As well, in Collaborative Divorce the lawyers provide legal advice during each 4-way meeting based on the parties’ situation.
Ready to move forward? Call 780 875 2234 or fill out our contact form.