First, I want to congratulate you for recognizing that you need to focus energy on helping your kids get through your separation and/or divorce. The other day I heard a statistic from a U.S. based study which astonished me: 45% of families going through a divorce only say a couple of remarks to their kids to explain the fact that Mom and Dad are getting a divorce. 15% of families say nothing at all. Only 5% of families actually sit down with their children to explain what is happening to their family unit.
So often, kids think that their parents divorce is their fault – you must change that. Talk to your kids. Have them talk to a counselor. Get a divorce workbook for kids. Somehow, get the dialogue going so that you are aware of how they are feeling.
When I help my clients (with kids) through their separation and divorce, I always have two pieces of advice for them: talk to your kids about what’s happening, and allow your kids to love each parent equally – don’t make them choose sides.