• Home
  • Henka Services
    ▼
    • Mediation
    • Collaborative Divorce
    • Settlement-Focused Divorce
    • Cohabitation Agreements
    • Roadmap Of Our Services
  • About Henka
    ▼
    • Our Team
    • Our Vision
    • Our Community Involvement
    • Testimonials
  • Blog
    ▼
    • Collaborative Divorce
    • Mediation
    • Co-Parenting
    • Separation & Divorce
    • Communication
    • Child Support
    • Spousal Support
    • Division of Property
    • Written Agreements
  • Divorce Resources
    ▼
    • e-Learning Resources
    • Forms & Government Resources
    • Client Resources
    • Workbooks
    • Learn by Category
      ▼
      • Co-Parenting
      • Communication
      • Child Support
      • Negotiation Process
      • Division of Property
      • Spousal Support
  • Media
    ▼
    • TV Interview Series
    • Lloydminster Community Legal Clinic
  • Contact
    ▼
    • Refer A Client
    • Client Contact Form
  • Client Login
Safety Exit
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

Henka Divorce Law & Mediation In Alberta & Saskatchewan

Serving Alberta and Saskatchewan, Canada
Lloydminster: 780.875.2234 | Edmonton: 780.809.2202 | Contact Us

  • Home
  • Henka Services
    • Mediation
    • Collaborative Divorce
    • Settlement-Focused Divorce
    • Cohabitation Agreements
    • Roadmap Of Our Services
  • About Henka
    • Our Team
    • Our Vision
    • Our Community Involvement
    • Testimonials
  • Blog
    • Collaborative Divorce
    • Mediation
    • Co-Parenting
    • Separation & Divorce
    • Communication
    • Child Support
    • Spousal Support
    • Division of Property
    • Written Agreements
  • Divorce Resources
    • e-Learning Resources
    • Forms & Government Resources
    • Client Resources
    • Workbooks
    • Learn by Category
      • Co-Parenting
      • Communication
      • Child Support
      • Negotiation Process
      • Division of Property
      • Spousal Support
  • Media
    • TV Interview Series
    • Lloydminster Community Legal Clinic
  • Contact
    • Refer A Client
    • Client Contact Form
  • Client Login
You are here: Home / Blog / Communication / The Importance of Consistency Between Mom’s House / Dad’s House

The Importance of Consistency Between Mom’s House / Dad’s House

October 12, 2018 By Stephanie Dobson

When raising children in separated homes, there are many things to negotiate.

At first when parents separate, typically the first things that need to be dealt with are parenting schedules (when will children be at mom’s house and at dad’s house) and the finances (child support, bill payments, etc.).  However, separated parents (referred to as co-parents) shouldn’t overlook the importance of trying to achieve some form of consistency between their households if possible.  While I acknowledge that this is not always possible depending on the level of conflict, but in my view it will significantly help your children to more easily adjust to living in 2 homes.

The types of things you will need to discuss will depend largely on your children’s ages.  Some topics to consider:

  • Bedtimes & curfews – weekdays / weekends if different
  • Meal routines
  • Expectations regarding chores
  • Personal grooming – bath frequency, teeth brushing routine, haircut expectations
  • Junk food allowances
  • Food balance
  • Potty training – if applicable
  • School expectations – timeliness, after school routine (expectations on when to be home, communicating with parent), homework expectations, parental involvement with homework, parent communication with school
  • Co-parent expectations regarding communication – what do you expect to have communicated to you?  Examples – report cards, hot lunch orders, birthday party invitations received for party on the other parent’s time, classroom news, school discipline report, dentist/doctor/other appointments and reports from these providers
  • Allowance
  • Discipline – type of discipline, prohibited discipline if any, whether it carries-over to co-parent’s home
  • General expectations of the children

The list could go on…

You will likely find that your children will learn quickly as to how much or little their parents communicate and what they can get away with at each home.  I encourage you to find an effective form of communication which will vary based on such things as your comfort with technology, preferred type of communication, and level of conflict.  At the very least I recommend a shared online calendar exclusively for kid-stuff – it’s easy to set up and usually free.  This way, you can each add kid things to the calendar as they arise, and a notification will pop-up on the other parent’s device.  No need to remember to write anything down, keep track, or remind, and there’s no way for the other parent to say they didn’t know or weren’t told.

A great app for communicating generally, and keeping all of the parenting info in one place is Our Family Wizard.  Although it has a cost associated, the app is extremely dynamic with functions such as: messaging (parent-parent and parent-child), journaling, expense reimbursement requesting, parenting time change requests, child support tracking, shared calendar, child info tracking (vaccinations, clothing sizes, contact info for doctor/dentist/etc), and ability to grant your lawyer/mediator access to your account for monitoring purposes.  There are loads of free apps on the market, but none I have seen as dynamic and reliable as OFW.

An app is a great way to pass along info to the other parent without having to engage in a dialogue necessarily.  Whatever way you choose to communicate, the most important thing is to ensure that children know that their parents do in fact communicate – otherwise they will start using that to their advantage.

Issues like consistency between households and building a communication plan are so vital to the success of co-parents, but sometimes if conflict is high these issues are overlooked because of the difficulty in even negotiating the basics like scheduling and child support.  Digging deeper into these issues will benefit your children immensely as they get used to living in 2 homes.

What Our Clients Are Saying

J Wenisch

Stephanie and her team did amazing work for me. I highly recommend her and have referred a number of people her way. They are compassionate and understanding; I have the utmost in trust in them. Stephanie and her compassionate and understanding team can be highly trusted. Her help was critical for me and she walked me through each process giving me options and best advice anyone could ask … [Read More...]

Filed Under: Blog, Co-Parenting, Communication, Separation & Divorce

Primary Sidebar

A boutique family law firm with Alberta offices in Lloydminster and Edmonton, virtually serving clients throughout Alberta and Saskatchewan.

Contact Us

We focus on achieving healthy, thriving families after divorce or separation.

We offer an innovative, practical Service Package that combines Stephanie Dobson's live help with a comprehensive Workbook so that you can reach resolution that works for your family in a cost-effective way.  We have 3 Workbooks to choose from based on your situation.

Click for More Information

 

From the Blog

If my spouse and I still live under the same roof, can we be considered to be “separated”?

Let’s Connect

Videos

  • Helping Kids Thrive - Stephanie Dobson
    Helping Kids Thrive - Stephanie Dobson
  • Preparing for Separation - Stephanie Dobson
    Preparing for Separation - Stephanie Dobson
  • The Right Divorce Professional - Stephanie Dobson
    The Right Divorce Professional - Stephanie Dobson
  • Building an Effective Parenting Plan - Stephanie Dobson
    Building an Effective Parenting Plan - Stephanie Dobson
  • Effective Communication - Stephanie Dobson
    Effective Communication - Stephanie Dobson
  • Becoming Successful Co-parents - Stephanie Dobson
    Becoming Successful Co-parents - Stephanie Dobson
  • Our Family in Two Homes Workbook - Stephanie Dobson
    Our Family in Two Homes Workbook - Stephanie Dobson
  • Parenting From Two Homes
    Parenting From Two Homes
  • Rebuilding Trust - Stephanie Dobson
    Rebuilding Trust - Stephanie Dobson
  • Optimizing Exchanges of Kids - Stephanie Dobson
    Optimizing Exchanges of Kids - Stephanie Dobson
  • How to Tell the Kids - Stephanie Dobson
    How to Tell the Kids - Stephanie Dobson

Footer

Lloydminster Office
4104 – 50 Avenue
Lloydminster, AB/SK T9V 0V8
T: 780.875.2234
Edmonton Office
Suite 1400, 10665 Jasper Avenue
Edmonton, Alberta T5J 3S9
T: 780.809.2202
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • LinkedIn

Blogs by Category

Copyright © 2023 Henka Divorce Law & Mediation · All Rights Reserved

· · ·

Website Design by The Crouch Group