• Home
  • Henka Services
    ▼
    • Mediation
    • Collaborative Divorce
    • Settlement-Focused Divorce
    • Cohabitation Agreements
    • Roadmap Of Our Services
  • About Henka
    ▼
    • Our Team
    • Our Vision
    • Our Community Involvement
    • Testimonials
  • Blog
    ▼
    • Collaborative Divorce
    • Mediation
    • Co-Parenting
    • Separation & Divorce
    • Communication
    • Child Support
    • Spousal Support
    • Division of Property
    • Written Agreements
  • Divorce Resources
    ▼
    • e-Learning Resources
    • Forms & Government Resources
    • Client Resources
    • Workbooks
    • Learn by Category
      ▼
      • Co-Parenting
      • Communication
      • Child Support
      • Negotiation Process
      • Division of Property
      • Spousal Support
  • Media
    ▼
    • TV Interview Series
    • Lloydminster Community Legal Clinic
  • Contact
    ▼
    • Refer A Client
    • Client Contact Form
  • Client Login
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

Henka Divorce Law & Mediation In Alberta & Saskatchewan

Serving Alberta and Saskatchewan, Canada
Lloydminster: 780.875.2234 | Edmonton: 780.809.2202 | Contact Us

  • Home
  • Henka Services
    • Mediation
    • Collaborative Divorce
    • Settlement-Focused Divorce
    • Cohabitation Agreements
    • Roadmap Of Our Services
  • About Henka
    • Our Team
    • Our Vision
    • Our Community Involvement
    • Testimonials
  • Blog
    • Collaborative Divorce
    • Mediation
    • Co-Parenting
    • Separation & Divorce
    • Communication
    • Child Support
    • Spousal Support
    • Division of Property
    • Written Agreements
  • Divorce Resources
    • e-Learning Resources
    • Forms & Government Resources
    • Client Resources
    • Workbooks
    • Learn by Category
      • Co-Parenting
      • Communication
      • Child Support
      • Negotiation Process
      • Division of Property
      • Spousal Support
  • Media
    • TV Interview Series
    • Lloydminster Community Legal Clinic
  • Contact
    • Refer A Client
    • Client Contact Form
  • Client Login
You are here: Home / Blog / Top 5 Divorce Myths Debunked

Top 5 Divorce Myths Debunked

October 6, 2021 By Stephanie Dobson

There are so many myths out there about divorce, the divorce process, parenting after divorce, and more.  I hear about these every day, and thought I’d take the opportunity to debunk some of these myths! 

Myth #1 – I need my spouse’s consent to get a divorce

This is a myth

In Canada, to get a divorce you need to prove to the Court that there’s been a breakdown of the marriage.  

You can prove this in one of 3 ways:

  • Living separate and apart for one year;
  • Mental or physical cruelty by your spouse against you; or
  • Adultery by the other spouse.

In no case do you need your spouse’s consent to proceed with a divorce.  If one of you wants to end the marriage, then you simply have to prove that one of these elements applies to you, and you will be eligible for a divorce.

Myth #2 – Adultery will cost me everything

Although this may feel true emotionally, this is a legal myth.  

I call it myth because the legislation addresses in many ways that adultery does not have an effect on resolution to separation and divorce matters in many ways.

For example: 

  • Spousal support – the legislation says that you aren’t going to receive less or pay more just because of adultery
  • Property division – adultery has literally zero impact on how your property will be divided in a separation or divorce.  The split will be 50/50 subject to some exceptions, period.
  • Parenting – although past conduct may affect a parenting plan, adultery alone won’t stop you from either having time with your children or being a decision-maker

One way that adultery does actually affect your divorce is that it could cause you to be eligible for a divorce sooner than the 1 year of separation.

Myth #3 – If child support isn’t paid, then parenting time can be denied

This is a myth.

Child support and parenting time are not typically linked together.  If there’s a document requiring you to send the children to the other parent for time with the children, then you are not able to deny time just because child support has not been paid.  

There’s reasons that parenting time may be denied, such as issues relating to safety of the children, but not for child support non-payment.

If you’re on the other side of the situation, and you’re being denied parenting time, that’s equally not a reason to withhold the payment of child support. 

I always say that if you have to go to court, it’s best to come with “clean hands”.  A judge is more likely to be sympathetic to the parent who has been abiding by what they’re supposed to be doing – either sending children for time with the other parent, or paying child support as scheduled.  If you’re both in a stand-off of sorts – parenting time for support – then the court will give you both a slap on the wrist per se.

Myth #4 – The kids get to choose which parent they live with when they are age 12

Another myth.

Under the separation and divorce legislation, kids don’t get to choose where they live until they are no longer under their parents’ care and control as “children”.  Typically that will be the age of majority, which in Alberta and Saskatchewan is age 18 for these purposes. The final decision is up to the parents or ultimately a court if the parents can’t agree.

However, as children get to be pre-teens and teenagers, they will have a lot more say in where they live – often they will become part of the parents’ discussions relating to parenting schedules and moving between mom’s house and dad’s house.  

I call it having a “voice not a choice”.

There are ways that we can bring the child’s voice into the discussion – for instance, sometimes the parents will hire a psychologist who will provide feedback to the parents, their lawyers, and possibly to the court if necessary.  Sometimes the children will be involved directly in a process like mediation where the mediator can meet with them directly with the parents’ permission.  

Myth #5 – To get a divorce I need to go to court

On a very technical level – yes, if you want to be legally unmarried, and no longer spouses, the Court will have to stamp your divorce application to cause you to be divorced. 

However, I call it a myth because when people ask if they need to “go to court” they usually are asking whether they need to step foot in a courtroom or speak with a Judge directly.  

All of the negotiations relating to your separation and divorce issues such as your parenting plan, child support, spousal support, and division of property, can be done outside of the courtroom either with your lawyer or a mediator.

Then, the final resolution will be documented in your separation agreement or your divorce application and the court simply double checks it and signs off on it without needing to see you in-person.  It’s called a “desk divorce”.


Henka Divorce Law & Mediation is a Collaborative Law and Family Mediation firm that helps families thrive as they transition to separation, divorce, or cohabitation. Understanding that every journey is different, we guide families through the right legal or mediation process that fits their unique situation.

Our client service is built on three pillars – focusing on the future, nurturing and supporting children, and working together towards well-being. This includes considering everyone’s needs throughout the process. We work closely with families to provide a meaningful and fair resolution, while keeping costs down by staying out of court.

We serve families in Alberta and Saskatchewan, Canada through their separation or divorce by providing in-person and virtual Collaborative Law or Mediation services.
With extensive knowledge in matrimonial law, our founder Stephanie Dobson uses a caring, results-focused approach to help parents navigate a family separation or divorce while they connect with and support their children. Learn more about her approach and credentials.

Filed Under: Blog, Child Support, Co-Parenting, Collaborative Divorce, Division of Property, Mediation, Separation & Divorce, Spousal Support

Primary Sidebar

A boutique family law firm with Alberta offices in Lloydminster and Edmonton, virtually serving clients throughout Alberta and Saskatchewan.

Contact Us

We focus on achieving healthy, thriving families after divorce or separation.

We offer an innovative, practical Service Package that combines Stephanie Dobson's live help with a comprehensive Workbook so that you can reach resolution that works for your family in a cost-effective way.  We have 3 Workbooks to choose from based on your situation.

Click for More Information

 

From the Blog

I have been separated for 10 years and would like to get a divorce. Do I have to go to court? Are there any limitation periods?

Let’s Connect

Videos

  • Rebuilding Trust - Stephanie Dobson
    Rebuilding Trust - Stephanie Dobson
  • The Right Divorce Professional - Stephanie Dobson
    The Right Divorce Professional - Stephanie Dobson
  • Helping Kids Thrive - Stephanie Dobson
    Helping Kids Thrive - Stephanie Dobson
  • How to Tell the Kids - Stephanie Dobson
    How to Tell the Kids - Stephanie Dobson
  • Effective Communication - Stephanie Dobson
    Effective Communication - Stephanie Dobson
  • Preparing for Separation - Stephanie Dobson
    Preparing for Separation - Stephanie Dobson
  • Parenting From Two Homes
    Parenting From Two Homes
  • Building an Effective Parenting Plan - Stephanie Dobson
    Building an Effective Parenting Plan - Stephanie Dobson
  • Our Family in Two Homes Workbook - Stephanie Dobson
    Our Family in Two Homes Workbook - Stephanie Dobson
  • Optimizing Exchanges of Kids - Stephanie Dobson
    Optimizing Exchanges of Kids - Stephanie Dobson
  • Becoming Successful Co-parents - Stephanie Dobson
    Becoming Successful Co-parents - Stephanie Dobson

Footer

Lloydminster Office
4104 – 50 Avenue
Lloydminster, AB/SK T9V 0V8
T: 780.875.2234
Edmonton Office
Suite 1400, 10665 Jasper Avenue
Edmonton, Alberta T5J 3S9
T: 780.809.2202
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • LinkedIn

Blogs by Category

Copyright © 2022 Henka Divorce Law & Mediation · All Rights Reserved

· · ·

Website Design by The Crouch Group

Safety Exit