A divorce mission statement is a statement that you create that defines how you want to define the story of your transition into being separated and your life after divorce. It’s not about stating what you want for a settlement – i.e. financial outcomes or parenting arrangements. It’s about how you want to look back at your divorce and what that looks like.
If you engage in either the Collaborative Process or in Family Mediation, customarily you will start out the first session by listing your goals or “interests” – what is important to you in achieving a resolution. These are all the pieces of the puzzle that you need to create your mission statement. It’s about moving forward and ensuring that your thoughts and behaviour during your divorce are in line with your core values.
Some of the following goals / interests may help you to create your mission statement – at the end of my divorce, I want the following to be true:
- I want to have established good communication patterns with my former spouse
- I want my kids to feel loved in both mom’s house and dad’s house
- I want to have taken control of my emotions
- My former spouse and I were able to settle all of our issues out of court
I will achieve the above goals by doing the following:
- I will put my kids’ needs above my own
- I will seek the emotional support that I need
- I will focus on the future, not on the past
- I will choose to see my divorce as a transition, not as an end
- I will surround myself with people who are supportive of my choice
Remember, if you want to have a successful transition from being married to separated to divorced, you need to begin with the end in mind.
Have you created your divorce mission statement? Share it with me – send me an email or follow me on Twitter at @sdobsonlawyer and send me a tweet. I want to hear from you! Find archives of my articles on our website.